Best Way to Teach

(As shared on Decoding Your Child Facebook post on Jul 22, 2019.)

I observed role-modelling at its best today.

My little 6-year-old had been unwell the past 2 days. Fatigue caught up and I slept way past my normal waking time today. My husband woke me up and told me the Little One was crying beside me and I was shocked to realise it was already 9am.

It appeared the LO was very hungry and had been trying to wake me up to no avail. Normally, if she woke up before I did on weekends, she would take care of her own breakfast. But since she was still unwell, I figured she needed me to help her. So I got up, pampered her a little, prepared her breakfast and sat down with her while she ate it.

LO: You know, I woke up at 7.32 and I have been trying to wake you up.

Me: I’m so sorry I didn’t know. Did you shake and call me to wake?

LO: No. I wanted to wake you kindly by hugging and kissing you. 

I was so touched by the gentleness she exhibited when attempting to wake me. Even though she must have really wanted me to awaken, she was mindful to be kind and loving.

How did that happen? Is it because she is a loving child by nature? Or is it because she is nurtured with love?

Probably both, but I suspect the latter played a HUGE role.

You see, for the last 2.5 years, I have been waking her up gently, with hugs and kisses, to get her ready for school. As it is, it is difficult enough for a young child to awaken when she is not ready to. So I did my best to make the process more palatable by waking her gently, with lots of hugs and kisses. I would also carry her to the bathroom so she could use the toilet and brush her teeth. 

There were times she refused to cooperate, especially during the beginning of each school year, and especially more so when she went to Primary One because she had to wake up before the sun rose. Those times, I had to struggle to remain gentle. I would tell her I understood she wanted to sleep more, but that it was not an option and I would love for her to wake up happily. I would explain that I chose to awaken her gently and lovingly so she could start her day joyfully and I asked her for her cooperation. We had had some rough days, but by and by, it got easier.

Now, it’s always a joy to awaken her and see her smile even before she opens her eyes. 

There are many who may think I have been blessed with awesome, loving and helpful children. Indeed I have been extremely blessed. But I firmly believe the environment they grow up in and the behaviour they observe and experience will have a huge impact on them. The reason why my little 6-year-old attempted to awaken me “kindly with hugs and kisses” is because that was what she had been experiencing.

So parents, our children are our mirrors. They practice what they have seen and what they have experienced. If we feel they need to change their behaviour, perhaps we need to reflect on the behaviour they see and experience and change that instead.

Happy Parenting!

Being An Awesome Parent: The Power of A Tuning Fork

I learned to play the guitar more than 30 years ago. If there is one thing I need to do regularly, it is to tune my guitar. While technology has advanced and there are digital tuners for sale, I have kept my old-fashioned tuning fork.


Because it serves as a constant reminder that I am a tuning fork.

What do I mean by that? How does that help me become an awesome parent?

What is a Tuning Fork?

A tuning fork is a fork-shaped acoustic resonator. It resonates (or vibrates) at a specific constant pitch. That resonance is almost inaudible unless we put the tuning fork close to our ears. Another way for the resonance of the tuning fork to be heard is if it is placed against something that resonates at the same pitch. When that happens, that resonance will magnify the sound.

In the case of my tuning fork, it resonates at 440 Hz, more commonly known as the A note (or “la” note). To tune my guitar, I strike the tines of my tuning fork and place the base of the fork on the spot where the A note is supposed to be on my guitar string. If my guitar is in tune, there will be a resonance when the fork touches that spot and I will HEAR the sound of the A note resonating from my guitar. If the resonance happens above or below the point where the A note is supposed to be on my guitar, I will need to either release or increase the tension in the string so that the A note will be at the right spot. 

The interesting thing is this. If I move my tuning fork further away from the A note on the guitar string, there will be no sound produced. 

Think about it. A guitar string is capable of producing all the musical notes in an octave. But it will ONLY resonate or make a sound when the frequency of the tuning fork is the same as the frequency of the note on the guitar. 

So now if I were to get a different tuning fork, say a G note tuning fork, the A note in my guitar string will remain silent when I place the new fork there. Instead I will need to place the fork on the G note to get a resonance.

How is this relevant to anything not related to the tuning of musical instruments? How is it even related to becoming awesome parents??

We ARE Musical Instruments

Like a guitar, or any other musical instruments, we have the full “octave” in us. We are kind and unkind, generous and miserly, loving and harsh, patient and impatient, and everything in between each end of the spectrum. Of course some traits are more pronounced in us than others, but we do have all the traits in us, both positive and negative ones.

But, we are not only musical instruments with a full octave within us. We are also tuning forks.

We ARE Tuning Forks

What “frequencies” do we emit? What “notes” are we playing?

By that I mean what kind of thoughts do we normal have when we think about ourselves? What words do we use to describe ourselves? Are they positive or negative? What about the words we use on our loved ones, our children? Are they positive or negative?

What has thoughts and words got to do with our frequencies?

Thoughts are energy. How do we know that? Thoughts are electrical impulses that are measurable. There is currently “mind reading” research going on in renowned colleges like Carnegie Mellon University and Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Researchers are able to transcribe thoughts into words.  

That means each thought has a specific energy signature, a unique frequency.

Hence, the thoughts we have have energy, a vibrational frequency. What more about words? Words, when spoken, have sound energy. Latent in the words are thoughts that are triggered when we hear or think those words. Hence, words weld immense power.

When we bear that in mind, we realise that whatever we keep referring ourselves to will have a stronger vibrational energy. And since within us reside the whole “octave” of abilities and emotions, that which has a higher vibrational energy will cause the same thing to resonate, and therefore “physicalise”.

In other words, when we repeat something over and over, our entire beingness becomes aligned with what we say, think and believe.


The words we use affect the way we think. That is why self[affirmation is very effective in helping us make positive changes in ourselves. For example, if we want to become better parents, we can affirm, “I am an awesome parent.” The more we say it, the more our brains pull up instances when we are awesome parents and we begin to think, “Hey, I AM an awesome parent.” And when we think we are awesome parents, we start to believe we are awesome parents and we start to behave like one. Our thoughts affect our behaviour. And because we behave like awesome parents, we become awesome parents. Our behavior shapes our being.   

But if we pause to think about it. Everything, from the words we use, the thoughts we think, the beliefs we hold and the acts we do, they define who we are. They define our being.  

Therefore, we need to remember to keep telling ourselves, “I am an AWESOME parent.” This is important because it takes effort and time to be an awesome parent. The more we can resonate the awesome energies in us and help those physicalise, the easier it will be for us to do what awesome parents need to do.


We are tuning forks. Our thoughts form the pitch (or frequency) that we resonate with. Hence, we need to let go of all those disparaging thoughts we have of ourselves. We must stop causing the “gunk” in us to resonate and physicalise into laziness, impatience, etc.  

This one concept will help will understand how powerful our choice of words and thoughts are. When we consciously “tune” ourselves to resonate “AWESOMENESS”, we will become more and more awesome parents. And our children will thank us for it.

Happy Parenting!